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Eleven Things I Hate About Corporate America

Posted on September 24, 2009 | By Christian | No Comments

Corporate Jargon – Mastering your core competency and keeping positive momentum to maintain six sigma synergy by delivering the key metrics to present the value added revenue mix for our shareholders.

Shareholders

9-5 (which is today is more like 8-6)

Corporate Downsizing – Another effort to placate shareholders by ruining the lives of others in the name of the almighty dollar.

Team Building – Forcing people to spend more time with each other than they already do in their 8-6 work day.

Executives – People who have climbed their way up the corporate ladder by leveraging nepotism to become filthy wealthy.

Meal Allowances – The challenge of finding a way to manage 3 square meals on $25/day

Special Projects/Assignments – The way corporations attempt to get more hours out of your day while trying to make you feel special.

Economy Class Seats – Fitting 15yrs of sitting at a desk ass into a seat the size of a cat carrier for 8hrs and 3 connecting flights.

Forced Charity – The way the corporation tries to justify the means and buy some karma by guilting their workforce into giving to the charity of the company’s choice.

Service Anniversary’s – rewarding employees for sucking it up for X number of years and presenting them with a clock to remind them of how much time they’ve wasted.

~cg

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