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Time -A Meandering Rant from TSF 8

Posted on April 22, 2010 | By Christian | No Comments

I think I suffer from the same malady many of us face today.  Time.  Its like a drug.  There isn’t enough of it, I’ve lost track of it, is it the right time, its running out, I cant afford it, and I am wasting it.  You get the point.

Now, none of this is new to most of us.  Every once in a while we look in the mirror but don’t see that 18yr old that we imagine we still look like.  Full of youth and vigor and lacking the lines and gray hairs we see today.  But I can deal with getting older, I really don’t have a problem with it.  What I do have a problem with is that I am not doing all of the things I always envisioned I would have done by now.  That’s not to say I won’t, its just…  I am a bit off schedule.  This is my problem.

I wont bore you with the laundry list of things I thought I would have done by now, but many of them are typical… seeing Europe, sailing the Caribbean, having that corner office, stuff like that.  I don’t think it’s because I’m not capable of doing these things, but haven’t had the time to really devote to getting to them.  Stuff keeps happening and it’s never the right time.

Perhaps it’s the trade offs I’ve made over time.  When I was younger I really wasn’t able to comprehend the impact parenthood would have on my life.  Its all good stuff, I just didn’t know how much of a priority it would become to ensure my kids have the best I can give them.  So I’ve traded my vacations to the Caribbean for vacations to Sesame Street Place and the like.  I’m ok with that too, but I still have “my” stuff to do.

So, for “my” stuff, call it my “bucket list” if you like, I wonder when I will find the time.  My kids are still young and I don’t have the financial wherewithal to pack up the whole family and go to Europe for two weeks.  And we all know that won’t fly with the boss anyway – two weeks off – in a row???.  Maybe what I need to do with my time is try and schedule it.  Maybe if I start to plan on the lower hanging fruit of my goals for now and hope for the best down the road.  But…

What if I am running out of time?  Jeeze that’s a gloomy thought.  Here I am, only 40, and wondering about a final nap on the big couch.  Well, I am hoping that I live for another 40 (or longer if the big guy allows) and that gives me a fair amount of time to get to the bigger things on the list, and maybe by then I will be in a better financial position to take on the larger trips.  Maybe I’ll even be retired before I’m 75 and have a time where I wont be trying to vacation with one foot in the sand and another strapped to my blackberry.    Which brings me to my last point…

This whole indentured servitude to Corporate America, am I wasting my time?  I am trading my time so that the corporate fat-cats can have their fancy dinners and be driven to and fro and fly first class etc etc?  Is my time worth only the paycheck I receive, and to cause me to put off the things I would really rather be doing?  Will I wake up when I’m 65 and wonder why the hell I spent the last 40yrs working in Corporate America??  That scares me.  That seriously scares me… a lot.  Of course, when I look at my kids I know that the sacrifice is all worth it.  If I would trade my soul to the devil to ensure my kids happiness, surely selling it to Corporate America couldn’t be all that much worse.  Could it?

Well, my time is up.  I appreciate your giving me some of yours.  And until next time…  ~cg


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