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The Textification of American Language

Posted on May 17, 2011 | By Patty Pino | No Comments

A Meandering Rant by Steve Angiolino

TSF Episode 21 – Expressive Textplexing began with a rant from writer, chef, production professional and father-extraordinaire, Steve Angiolino.  Listen to the podcast here and read his insights, below.

I am so sick of the textification of the American Language. Of course by now everyone is used to the LOL’s and OMG’s and they are accepted additions to the vernacular. It’s the forty-five year old men who ask about my “avails” for an upcoming meeting. Or the woman who is definitely not in line for tickets to Justin Bieber, telling me she is going to send along the “deets” for a project we’re working on. I’m also sick of the “whatevs,” “probs,” and the “ushe.” Finish the damn word! It’s as if everyone is so overworked and exhausted they not only can’t finish sentences, but they haven’t enough stamina to finish words longer then six letters.

I get it when you are handcuffed by the 160-character limit and you don’t want to buck up the extra five for unlimited texting. That’s cool, I can get behind that, but when you send me an email where the sky is the limit and you can be as verbose as the annoying person on the 5:46 with the cell phone embedded in their ear, then I get annoyed. You’ve got the space, unless your fingers are cramping so hard from carpal tunnel, that you look like that weird lobster boy at the freak show in the county fair, then please take those extra few seconds and finish the words!

Trust me; I’ll be _available_ to get the _details_ _whatever _time works best for you. I won’t quit mid- sentence. I have the wherewithal to read the word right down to the last letter. I’m no Edwin Newman. I’m not on a crusade to reinstate proper American English. I just ask us forty-something’s to give up talking like 15 year olds, madly pecking away on their Blackberries about how hot Tommy looks in his basketball uniform.

Enough already, and that’s enough with a GH and not two FFs.

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Steve Angiolino has finally come to the realization that sarcasm is not a great business model. He currently lives in the Jersey suburbs with his wife and two kids and spends long periods of time staring out the back window of his house wondering, “What’s going on in Hoboken right now?” Steve is easily annoyed and often gets into odd conversations with the elderly at the local ShopRite grocery store.

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