The Textification of American Language
Posted on May 17, 2011 | By Patty Pino | No Comments
A Meandering Rant by Steve Angiolino
TSF Episode 21 – Expressive Textplexing began with a rant from writer, chef, production professional and father-extraordinaire, Steve Angiolino. Listen to the podcast here and read his insights, below.
I am so sick of the textification of the American Language. Of course by now everyone is used to the LOL’s and OMG’s and they are accepted additions to the vernacular. It’s the forty-five year old men who ask about my “avails” for an upcoming meeting. Or the woman who is definitely not in line for tickets to Justin Bieber, telling me she is going to send along the “deets” for a project we’re working on. I’m also sick of the “whatevs,” “probs,” and the “ushe.” Finish the damn word! It’s as if everyone is so overworked and exhausted they not only can’t finish sentences, but they haven’t enough stamina to finish words longer then six letters.
I get it when you are handcuffed by the 160-character limit and you don’t want to buck up the extra five for unlimited texting. That’s cool, I can get behind that, but when you send me an email where the sky is the limit and you can be as verbose as the annoying person on the 5:46 with the cell phone embedded in their ear, then I get annoyed. You’ve got the space, unless your fingers are cramping so hard from carpal tunnel, that you look like that weird lobster boy at the freak show in the county fair, then please take those extra few seconds and finish the words!
Trust me; I’ll be _available_ to get the _details_ _whatever _time works best for you. I won’t quit mid- sentence. I have the wherewithal to read the word right down to the last letter. I’m no Edwin Newman. I’m not on a crusade to reinstate proper American English. I just ask us forty-something’s to give up talking like 15 year olds, madly pecking away on their Blackberries about how hot Tommy looks in his basketball uniform.
Enough already, and that’s enough with a GH and not two FFs.
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Steve Angiolino has finally come to the realization that sarcasm is not a great business model. He currently lives in the Jersey suburbs with his wife and two kids and spends long periods of time staring out the back window of his house wondering, “What’s going on in Hoboken right now?” Steve is easily annoyed and often gets into odd conversations with the elderly at the local ShopRite grocery store.
Don’t Be Al Bundy
Posted on January 23, 2011 | By Patty Pino | No Comments
Way back in the 80’s, television metamorphosized from 12 free broadcast stations plus that weird UHF band into pay television, lovingly known as Cable. Along with more TV options came the bid for another major network, and the badboy of television, the FOX network, was born. FOX was like an unbridled teenager, free to experiment with their programming without being burdened by the trappings, traditions, and history of previous major three networks. In the sitcome space, they lauched “Married…with Children,” one of the most culturally defining television programs of that era.
That was then...
At that time, Al Bundy and his misfit, unmotivated family ruled the airwaves and, I suppose , there was something empowering about this klan. They were sarcastic, selfish, and non-trendy – a huge counterpoint to the buttoned-up, Izod clad yuppies that were so prevalent in those post-Disco, Regan “Just Say No” days. Al, Peg, Kelly, and Bud, in their slovenly simplicity, were harbingers and ambassadors for the soon-to-come Seattle grunge and slacker movement of the early 90’s. They were the original couch potatoes.
But, as ground-breaking as they were in the late 80’s, I’m here to tell you don’t be like Al Bundy. Read more
Reality is Overrated
Posted on January 3, 2011 | By Patty Pino | No Comments
Are you old enough to remember when home video cameras first started to become popular and people started bringing them to parties or family things and somehow, whenever a video camera entered the situation, people changed. You could be having a good meal or conversation and everyone would be relaxed and then some uncle would come through with the say-hi-to-the-camera bit and nervous people got more nervous, and outgoing people turned on the charm, and those in-between just kinda stiffened up and waved “hi” because they didn’t know what else to do?
Then, TV hit the air with a show called “The Real World” where they tried to capture that same social thing where everyone is hanging out together but there just happens to be cameras present? What happened on that show in 1992 was sort of the same thing that occurred with your technical uncle – people became slightly warped, awkward versions of themselves for the MTV nation, and other people found that entertaining.
What was true in your family setting was true for those 20-somethings in that New York apartment – the camera changes things. Read more
Our Country’s Pathetic Future
Posted on October 20, 2010 | By Robert LaFrance | 2 Comments
Our Country’s Pathetic Future
I usually tend to shy away from political topics. In the past, I just haven’t cared enough to concern myself with politics. It didn’t really affect me so I didn’t care. But as I get older (though I don’t look older), I begin to realize that the decisions made by both the leaders of this country and it’s population will eventually have a real impact on either me or my kids. And when you really start paying attention, you’re quick to realize that this country and our society in general are completely falling apart!
Lucky for you, with my incredible intelligence and insightful vision 
, I’ve identified two major issues that we must act on immediately to save our future. Read more
My Favorite Song is an Aging Hippie-Holdover Classic!
Posted on August 28, 2010 | By Robert LaFrance | 3 Comments
This rant was inspired by a song. It’s a lovely little ditty and I’d like to play it for you now.
That’s right – it’s Dan Fogerlberg’s “Longer Than.” This optimistic ballad was released late in 1979 and gained most of its insane popularity in 1980 and is now my all time favorite song. A favorite song that I never need to hear again. In fact, I’d rather puncture my eardrums with porcupine spines than listen to that drivel. So, I hear you asking yourself, “with all that great music that The Slacker Factor has brought me, how could THIS possibly be his favorite song?” Well, I will tell you.
“Longer Than” gives me hope. Not because of its poignant lyrical content, its dreamy melody, or delicately sung vocal. Nope, in fact those things make me want to reach into the early 80s and pull Dan Fogelberg’s tonsils out through his nose. I love it for this reluctant hope that it offers. Hope that if this boat load of crap can reach a peak position of #2 on the Singles Chart in this god forsaken country, then actual quality music might stand a fighting chance.
But, what I really can’t believe is that back in the early 80s, people heard this song for the first time and said to themselves “Wow, what a fantastic little ditty, I can’t wait to hear several more times an hour on my favorite Adult Contemporary radio station.” Or worse, that those aging hippie holdover baby boomers thought that this was a cutting edge new sound for a new decade and warranted critical acclaim and a place in the rock and roll history books alongside Richard Marx and Bryan Adams. Why else would it have catapulted his album called Phoenix to platinum status? There can be no other logical explanation.
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