Portlandia is a television series that debuted on the Independent Film Channel (IFC) on January 21, 2011. The show, produced by Andrew Singer and Jonathan Krisel, is set and filmed both in and near Portland, Oregon and features Saturday Night Live cast member Fred Armisen as well as Carrie Brownstein, a member of the now-defunct band Sleater-Kinney and current lead guitarist/singer for Wild Flag.

The name Portlandia refers to the sculpture of the same name above the entrance of the Portland Building on Fifth Avenue in downtown Portland. The statue also appears in the opening montage title sequence.

TSF Episode 21 – Expressive Textplexing began with a rant from writer, chef, production professional and father-extraordinaire, Steve Angiolino.  Listen to the podcast here and read his insights, below.

I am so sick of the textification of the American Language. Of course by now everyone is used to the LOL’s and OMG’s and they are accepted additions to the vernacular. It’s the forty-five year old men who ask about my “avails” for an upcoming meeting. Or the woman who is definitely not in line for tickets to Justin Bieber, telling me she is going to send along the “deets” for a project we’re working on. I’m also sick of the “whatevs,” “probs,” and the “ushe.” Finish the damn word! It’s as if everyone is so overworked and exhausted they not only can’t finish sentences, but they haven’t enough stamina to finish words longer then six letters.

I get it when you are handcuffed by the 160-character limit and you don’t want to buck up the extra five for unlimited texting. That’s cool, I can get behind that, but when you send me an email where the sky is the limit and you can be as verbose as the annoying person on the 5:46 with the cell phone embedded in their ear, then I get annoyed. You’ve got the space, unless your fingers are cramping so hard from carpal tunnel, that you look like that weird lobster boy at the freak show in the county fair, then please take those extra few seconds and finish the words!

Trust me; I’ll be _available_ to get the _details_ _whatever _time works best for you. I won’t quit mid- sentence. I have the wherewithal to read the word right down to the last letter. I’m no Edwin Newman. I’m not on a crusade to reinstate proper American English. I just ask us forty-something’s to give up talking like 15 year olds, madly pecking away on their Blackberries about how hot Tommy looks in his basketball uniform.

Enough already, and that’s enough with a GH and not two FFs.

___________________________________________________________

Steve Angiolino has finally come to the realization that sarcasm is not a great business model. He currently lives in the Jersey suburbs with his wife and two kids and spends long periods of time staring out the back window of his house wondering, “What’s going on in Hoboken right now?” Steve is easily annoyed and often gets into odd conversations with the elderly at the local ShopRite grocery store.

Yes, I was hit on by the body fully-pierced-with-safety-pins guy at the Jim Rose Circus Side Show. No, I didn’t go there. Yes, I considered Clown College after high school. No, I didn’t go there. Yes, I’m strangely attracted to things with birds on them. Yes, I found the crazy Harajuku fashion in Japan all glittery and fascinating. Yes, I have declared things “Over” and, most sadly, have probably been a catalyst for things being over, too.

We love Fred Armisen, Carrie Brownstein and Jonathan Krisel for their absurd and brilliant creation, and we secretly loath them for reminding us of our sometimes lame ways.

~pp

Train wreck alert!

I’m embarrassed to admit this.  I really am.  But… I’m on the drug too.  The Charlie Sheen drug.

The Charlie Sheen slow-motion train wreck has captured my attention and I’m not exactly sure why.   I don’t watch his TV show, feel no connection at all, and really don’t think he is an especially talented actor.  Certainly not the caliber of his father.  Perhaps its the anticipation of what he may say next.  Or maybe its waiting to see who comes out next to support him.  Thank God for friends like Mel Gibson.  A real stand up guy who obviously has Charlie’s best interest in mind.  It just adds to the freak show.  Maybe Lindsey will step up for Charlie too?

No, for me I think it’s more the astonishment.  The astonishment that Charlie Sheen, is a famous actor, and ultimately just a person like you and me (but with a lot more money), yet no one can help him.  Scenarios like this happen every day to non-famous people and often end in tragedy.  The Charlie Sheen tragedy is being played out on every tabloid and news media with what seems to be hourly updates and no one can seem to help.

I really don’t want to sound like a “bleeding heart” but this all says to me that there is something wrong with the system if this can happen every day and more often than not ends in tragedy. 

Sure, Charlie may ultimately end up in a rehab center and hopefully get the help he needs (but I’m not putting money on that).  But how many people don’t have the means or the social support to get the help they need?  These are the people we may hear about in the back pages of the local paper or maybe we see them wandering the streets with their shopping carriage.  Unfortunately I don’t know what the answer is other than to try and raise awareness I guess.  I suspect that with the budget cuts every state and city are facing that this issue won’t be on the top of their list.

Well I guess until this ends I’m just like you and will wait for the next news break about Charlie, anxiously anticipating the next nonsensical rambling about his greatness, sobriety, and mental stability.  Or maybe I’ll even go to the next level and follow him on Twitter so I can beat CNN to the punch!

Good luck Charlie, we wait in the shadow of your (self proclaimed) greatness!  ~cg

That was then...

At that time, Al Bundy and his misfit, unmotivated family ruled the airwaves and, I suppose , there was something empowering about this klan.  They were sarcastic, selfish, and non-trendy – a huge counterpoint to the buttoned-up, Izod clad yuppies that were so prevalent in those post-Disco, Regan “Just Say No” days.  Al, Peg, Kelly, and Bud, in their slovenly simplicity, were harbingers and ambassadors for the soon-to-come Seattle grunge and slacker movement of the early 90’s.  They were the original couch potatoes.

But, as ground-breaking as they were in the late 80’s, I’m here to tell you don’t be like Al Bundy.  As fresh as “Married…With Children” may have felt back-in-the-day, Al Bundy was stale.  He was the embodiment of living life for yesterday and not for today.  A hostage to the past glory of his high school football successes, Al didn’t and couldn’t enjoy his life.  He hated his job, wasn’t attracted to his sexually-willing wife, and, so, he resigned himself to apathy.  Maybe he wasn’t the brightest man on the block, but, he didn’t have to live as a sad-sack, either.  Sure, he loved his family and had his Bundy pride, but fat, drunk, and bored is no way to go through life.

...this is Now.

Fortunately for us, the actor Ed O’Neill and the people who write his characters are genius, and they’ve given us a new, reworked, better version of the every-day-dad that is more reasonable and forward looking – Jay Pritchard, the patriarch on ABC’s sitcom “Modern Family”.  Jay, like Al, is not a perfect father.  He also has a sarcastic attitude and may embrace values and ideas that feel a little dated, but he is a forward-looking character.  He isn’t hung up on what happened in his life when he was a teenager; he is, instead, learning to do right for his family.  And, unlike Al, Jay is way into his beautiful wife and looks to make her happy, even when he disagrees with her perspective.  His approach is a modern one of learning and growing into acceptance, instead of shrugging his shoulders and living in the past.

So, thank you, Ed O’Neill, for giving us two fathers for two different eras of our lives.  And, thank you, Jay Pritchard and all of you other men out there, for not being Al Bundy.

< Listen to this meandering rant, and more, on the Tasty Televisionary podcast TSF18 here or on iTunes >

Episode 21:  This expansive episode of the podcast welcomes guest Rantologist and fellow slacker Steve Angiolino, explores our Constitution and Julian Assange, and vibes with the beats of Maceo Plex. Oh, and Patty surprises Christian and Rob, once again, with a real story of our modern world.

Subscribe with iTunes

Meandering Rant: “Textification of American Language” by Steve Angiolino

Book Report: The First Amendment and Freedom of Expression

Music Segment: “Vibe your Love” by Maceo Plex.  Here’s the sexy video!

Also mentioned:
Rebel Rave TV - High quality videos of underground dance music culture

Lullaby Renditions of Pink Floyd

If you’re like me you probably remember the good ole college days of drinking excessively and  listening to Pink Floyd.  Well now you can pass that on to your children! Well, maybe not the excessive drinking… but you get the point.

Check out Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of Pink Floyd and you too can send your kids to the Dark Side of the Moon!

Are you old enough to remember when home video cameras first started to become popular and people started bringing them to parties or family things and somehow, whenever a video camera entered the situation, people changed.  You could be having a good meal or conversation and everyone would be relaxed and then some uncle would come through with the say-hi-to-the-camera bit and nervous people got more nervous, and outgoing people turned on the charm, and those in-between just kinda stiffened up and waved “hi” because they didn’t know what else to do?

Then, TV hit the air with a show called “The Real World” where they tried to capture that same social thing where everyone is hanging out together but there just happens to be cameras present?  What happened on that show in 1992 was sort of the same thing that occurred with your technical uncle – people became slightly warped, awkward versions of themselves for the MTV nation, and other people found that entertaining.

What was true in your family setting was true for those 20-somethings in that New York apartment – the camera changes things.

Now everything feels different.  Andy Warhol’s experiment has expanded.  The huge commercial enterprise that is now Reality Television has warped our true sense of what makes up the reality of our lives.

Technology and the interwebs have pushed entertainment into our lives every day in every way.  Videos on our cell phones, pictures and words everywhere; you’re no longer allowed to be shy or stiff.  You must have a joke, a smooth line, a sweet soundbite to share.  In this “I’m always on” world, friends become more like fans and all of us are performing most all of the time.

How can we not be confused by all of this expectation of entertainment?  Is Miley Cirus Miley Cirus today or is she Hanna Montana?  I can’t tell anymore.

In real life, now, people become impatient with those who don’t know their lines.  I’m guilty of it.  Standing in line 10 minutes to get a coffee and the person in front of me doesn’t know what they want when they get up to the counter, and I become so aggravated.  You mean they haven’t checked it all out, already?  They haven’t rehearsed exactly how they’re going to say their order?  They’re not ready for their performance?  Or, how about those people who always need help with their lines – using their cell phone – “Line, please” – to ask their girlfriend what they should get for dinner or what to pick up at the supermarket?

Do you sense it happening at work?  If your boss or some leadership person is speaking to a group of people, don’t you expect them to be perfect?  If they make a gaffe or are repetitive or lose their train of thought, do you lose respect for them?  Not only have we all become performers, but we have seen so much of this stuff, we have become intense critics, too.

You’re going to speak to me; it better be good.

Buddhists believe that reality is a big dream and that we’re all connected because we are all made up of the same essence.  I’m holding tight to that big dream part, because if I’m really connected with Snookie and her housemates from Jersey Shore, I gotta revaluate some things.

< Listen to this meandering rant, and more, on the Crazy like Patty (or Snooki) podcast TSF11 here or on iTunes >

Happy Festivus, You $#&$@ers!

I love it when television becomes our reality.  In my opinion, when it comes to injecting TV reality into pop culture, no other show can hold a holiday candle to Seinfeld.  Recently, an inmate in LA prison embraced the made-up holiday Festivus, from Seinfeld’s 1997 season, to enhance his dining experiences in the clink.  Good for him and Happy Festivus to the free and the less-than-free.  Air your grievances, everyone, because it is a holiday for the rest of us.

• Prison Inmate Tricks Jail into Festivus Perks (Run Time 1:43)
• Seinfeld Montage: Wishing you a Happy Festivus (Run Time 1:54)
• George & Frank Costanza: The Full Story and Experience of Festivus (Run Time 3:09)

Photo of Me taken by a Totally Sane Stranger

What happens when you and over 250-thousand like-minded people show up in the same place at the same time?  You experience lots of interesting, cool, and plan-changing stuff.  Here is my wrap up from the “Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear”…

I was surprised by so many people of my parent’s age:  Call me an ageist or whatever, but I consider Stewart and Colbert representatives of Gen X and Gen Y.  When I showed up in DC and was preparing to go the Rally, I was surrounded not just by folks my age and younger, but by baby boomers and people of my parent’s generation.  Sure, my mom and dad like John Stewart, but I never considered that they would make the trek to a Rally.  So cool that this event inspired sanity-desiring people of all ages to attend.

The Metro turned out to be a bad option:  How could we possibly drive into the event, we thought.  Too much traffic, no place to park? Let’s park further out of the city and take in the beautiful DC Metro, we planned.  Got into the station, waited in line for tickets, waited for train, and it arrives packed like the Japanese Metro at rush hour, but worse. 

People almost falling out when the doors open.  People are smushed body-to-body-to-body-to-body (like Japan) AND they’re dressed like smurfs and aliens (like Japan) AND they are toting signs-on-sticks instead of yakitori-on-sticks.  (OK, the Japanese are too formal to eat on the subway, but I worked the on-a-stick thing in, anyway.)

Via Twitter: Rally for Sanity breaks 19-year Metro Saturday ridership record: http://wldc.us/bR65YC

After a sad attempt to get a cab, we did the old-fashioned thing – we drove in without traffic and found local parking.  That which we feared most was the path to our success.

I didn’t really see any of the actual Rally event:  That’s right; if you were home and watching on TV or the internet, you had a totally different experience.  You saw John Stewart’s moving speech, the Crazy Train/Peace Train/Love Train performances, the matching American Flag sweatsuits. I didn’t.

I, instead, experienced what it was like to be in an immense crowd on the vast Mall in Washington, D.C.  All too far away to see the main show, I and my friends rallied within the Rally with thousands of others.  The people-watching, the sign-reading, the experiencing of the crowd collective was awesome.  It was a beautiful day and we just went with the spirit and great positive feelings of everyone.

Via Internet: Photos of Rally Signs are here.

Via Twitter: So you made it to the Rally for Sanity and couldn’t see or hear? Watch highlights: http://is.gd/gzKry or the entire three hours: http://is.gd/gzKLS

Technology failed me and many others: Yes, I tried to tweet from my BlackBerry.  The network was jammed.  My friend tried to get to the live streaming Rally site on her iPhone.  The network was jammed.  Too many technology-oriented enthusiasts in the same place overloaded everything and made that part of the day really craptacular.  We wanted to give and read live updates, yet the cell phone infrastructure failed us.

I would do it again in a heartbeat and would encourage you to do the same: Overall, it was a great experience.  Positive, smart people all sanely gathered to share ideas. If there are future events of this type, you need to go. But. why wait for others to organize?  I challenge you to do your own gatherings in the spirit of Sanity. Get people together – in person or online – to share information, jokes, ideas, concepts, questions, and conversation.  Keep connected, keep informed, and inspire a positive future.

Also, wear a cool t-shirt and random people will take your picture.

Cheers,

- Patty
@BeingPattyPino

p.s.  Thanks for following me for the little bit I tweeted, thanks for voting in your respective elections, and stay tuned for more podcasts and ideas on The Slacker Factor. (Send us your ideas and participate, too.)