That was then...

At that time, Al Bundy and his misfit, unmotivated family ruled the airwaves and, I suppose , there was something empowering about this klan.  They were sarcastic, selfish, and non-trendy – a huge counterpoint to the buttoned-up, Izod clad yuppies that were so prevalent in those post-Disco, Regan “Just Say No” days.  Al, Peg, Kelly, and Bud, in their slovenly simplicity, were harbingers and ambassadors for the soon-to-come Seattle grunge and slacker movement of the early 90’s.  They were the original couch potatoes.

But, as ground-breaking as they were in the late 80’s, I’m here to tell you don’t be like Al Bundy.  As fresh as “Married…With Children” may have felt back-in-the-day, Al Bundy was stale.  He was the embodiment of living life for yesterday and not for today.  A hostage to the past glory of his high school football successes, Al didn’t and couldn’t enjoy his life.  He hated his job, wasn’t attracted to his sexually-willing wife, and, so, he resigned himself to apathy.  Maybe he wasn’t the brightest man on the block, but, he didn’t have to live as a sad-sack, either.  Sure, he loved his family and had his Bundy pride, but fat, drunk, and bored is no way to go through life.

...this is Now.

Fortunately for us, the actor Ed O’Neill and the people who write his characters are genius, and they’ve given us a new, reworked, better version of the every-day-dad that is more reasonable and forward looking – Jay Pritchard, the patriarch on ABC’s sitcom “Modern Family”.  Jay, like Al, is not a perfect father.  He also has a sarcastic attitude and may embrace values and ideas that feel a little dated, but he is a forward-looking character.  He isn’t hung up on what happened in his life when he was a teenager; he is, instead, learning to do right for his family.  And, unlike Al, Jay is way into his beautiful wife and looks to make her happy, even when he disagrees with her perspective.  His approach is a modern one of learning and growing into acceptance, instead of shrugging his shoulders and living in the past.

So, thank you, Ed O’Neill, for giving us two fathers for two different eras of our lives.  And, thank you, Jay Pritchard and all of you other men out there, for not being Al Bundy.

< Listen to this meandering rant, and more, on the Tasty Televisionary podcast TSF18 here or on iTunes >

Episode 21:  This expansive episode of the podcast welcomes guest Rantologist and fellow slacker Steve Angiolino, explores our Constitution and Julian Assange, and vibes with the beats of Maceo Plex. Oh, and Patty surprises Christian and Rob, once again, with a real story of our modern world.

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Meandering Rant: “Textification of American Language” by Steve Angiolino

Book Report: The First Amendment and Freedom of Expression

Music Segment: “Vibe your Love” by Maceo Plex.  Here’s the sexy video!

Also mentioned:
Rebel Rave TV - High quality videos of underground dance music culture

Are you old enough to remember when home video cameras first started to become popular and people started bringing them to parties or family things and somehow, whenever a video camera entered the situation, people changed.  You could be having a good meal or conversation and everyone would be relaxed and then some uncle would come through with the say-hi-to-the-camera bit and nervous people got more nervous, and outgoing people turned on the charm, and those in-between just kinda stiffened up and waved “hi” because they didn’t know what else to do?

Then, TV hit the air with a show called “The Real World” where they tried to capture that same social thing where everyone is hanging out together but there just happens to be cameras present?  What happened on that show in 1992 was sort of the same thing that occurred with your technical uncle – people became slightly warped, awkward versions of themselves for the MTV nation, and other people found that entertaining.

What was true in your family setting was true for those 20-somethings in that New York apartment – the camera changes things.

Now everything feels different.  Andy Warhol’s experiment has expanded.  The huge commercial enterprise that is now Reality Television has warped our true sense of what makes up the reality of our lives.

Technology and the interwebs have pushed entertainment into our lives every day in every way.  Videos on our cell phones, pictures and words everywhere; you’re no longer allowed to be shy or stiff.  You must have a joke, a smooth line, a sweet soundbite to share.  In this “I’m always on” world, friends become more like fans and all of us are performing most all of the time.

How can we not be confused by all of this expectation of entertainment?  Is Miley Cirus Miley Cirus today or is she Hanna Montana?  I can’t tell anymore.

In real life, now, people become impatient with those who don’t know their lines.  I’m guilty of it.  Standing in line 10 minutes to get a coffee and the person in front of me doesn’t know what they want when they get up to the counter, and I become so aggravated.  You mean they haven’t checked it all out, already?  They haven’t rehearsed exactly how they’re going to say their order?  They’re not ready for their performance?  Or, how about those people who always need help with their lines – using their cell phone – “Line, please” – to ask their girlfriend what they should get for dinner or what to pick up at the supermarket?

Do you sense it happening at work?  If your boss or some leadership person is speaking to a group of people, don’t you expect them to be perfect?  If they make a gaffe or are repetitive or lose their train of thought, do you lose respect for them?  Not only have we all become performers, but we have seen so much of this stuff, we have become intense critics, too.

You’re going to speak to me; it better be good.

Buddhists believe that reality is a big dream and that we’re all connected because we are all made up of the same essence.  I’m holding tight to that big dream part, because if I’m really connected with Snookie and her housemates from Jersey Shore, I gotta revaluate some things.

< Listen to this meandering rant, and more, on the Crazy like Patty (or Snooki) podcast TSF11 here or on iTunes >

Happy Festivus, You $#&$@ers!

I love it when television becomes our reality.  In my opinion, when it comes to injecting TV reality into pop culture, no other show can hold a holiday candle to Seinfeld.  Recently, an inmate in LA prison embraced the made-up holiday Festivus, from Seinfeld’s 1997 season, to enhance his dining experiences in the clink.  Good for him and Happy Festivus to the free and the less-than-free.  Air your grievances, everyone, because it is a holiday for the rest of us.

• Prison Inmate Tricks Jail into Festivus Perks (Run Time 1:43)
• Seinfeld Montage: Wishing you a Happy Festivus (Run Time 1:54)
• George & Frank Costanza: The Full Story and Experience of Festivus (Run Time 3:09)

Photo of Me taken by a Totally Sane Stranger

What happens when you and over 250-thousand like-minded people show up in the same place at the same time?  You experience lots of interesting, cool, and plan-changing stuff.  Here is my wrap up from the “Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear”…

I was surprised by so many people of my parent’s age:  Call me an ageist or whatever, but I consider Stewart and Colbert representatives of Gen X and Gen Y.  When I showed up in DC and was preparing to go the Rally, I was surrounded not just by folks my age and younger, but by baby boomers and people of my parent’s generation.  Sure, my mom and dad like John Stewart, but I never considered that they would make the trek to a Rally.  So cool that this event inspired sanity-desiring people of all ages to attend.

The Metro turned out to be a bad option:  How could we possibly drive into the event, we thought.  Too much traffic, no place to park? Let’s park further out of the city and take in the beautiful DC Metro, we planned.  Got into the station, waited in line for tickets, waited for train, and it arrives packed like the Japanese Metro at rush hour, but worse. 

People almost falling out when the doors open.  People are smushed body-to-body-to-body-to-body (like Japan) AND they’re dressed like smurfs and aliens (like Japan) AND they are toting signs-on-sticks instead of yakitori-on-sticks.  (OK, the Japanese are too formal to eat on the subway, but I worked the on-a-stick thing in, anyway.)

Via Twitter: Rally for Sanity breaks 19-year Metro Saturday ridership record: http://wldc.us/bR65YC

After a sad attempt to get a cab, we did the old-fashioned thing – we drove in without traffic and found local parking.  That which we feared most was the path to our success.

I didn’t really see any of the actual Rally event:  That’s right; if you were home and watching on TV or the internet, you had a totally different experience.  You saw John Stewart’s moving speech, the Crazy Train/Peace Train/Love Train performances, the matching American Flag sweatsuits. I didn’t.

I, instead, experienced what it was like to be in an immense crowd on the vast Mall in Washington, D.C.  All too far away to see the main show, I and my friends rallied within the Rally with thousands of others.  The people-watching, the sign-reading, the experiencing of the crowd collective was awesome.  It was a beautiful day and we just went with the spirit and great positive feelings of everyone.

Via Internet: Photos of Rally Signs are here.

Via Twitter: So you made it to the Rally for Sanity and couldn’t see or hear? Watch highlights: http://is.gd/gzKry or the entire three hours: http://is.gd/gzKLS

Technology failed me and many others: Yes, I tried to tweet from my BlackBerry.  The network was jammed.  My friend tried to get to the live streaming Rally site on her iPhone.  The network was jammed.  Too many technology-oriented enthusiasts in the same place overloaded everything and made that part of the day really craptacular.  We wanted to give and read live updates, yet the cell phone infrastructure failed us.

I would do it again in a heartbeat and would encourage you to do the same: Overall, it was a great experience.  Positive, smart people all sanely gathered to share ideas. If there are future events of this type, you need to go. But. why wait for others to organize?  I challenge you to do your own gatherings in the spirit of Sanity. Get people together – in person or online – to share information, jokes, ideas, concepts, questions, and conversation.  Keep connected, keep informed, and inspire a positive future.

Also, wear a cool t-shirt and random people will take your picture.

Cheers,

- Patty
@BeingPattyPino

p.s.  Thanks for following me for the little bit I tweeted, thanks for voting in your respective elections, and stay tuned for more podcasts and ideas on The Slacker Factor. (Send us your ideas and participate, too.)

Driving home last night / I heard that tune / The one from the 70’s / About things being over

The singer is in denial / He “Keeps Forgetting” / Things have changed / You know the song

Everything ends / Jobs, friendships, relationships, life / Somehow we don’t expect that / Won’t except that

We hate that part / The ending / The Silence / Fini

We’re built to function in the moment / But the moment is ever changing / Always working towards finish

Electrons move to eventually settle / Yearning for finale

We keep forgetting / An inherent beauty exists / In conclusion

The sun slipping behind the horizon / The sculptor making a final tap / Resonance of strings culminating the concert

Ends allows us to pause / Take heed of our experience / And look to the next

Driving home last night / I passed that cemetery / The one close to the road / Where our grandparents are buried

Sometimes I forget / The pervasive artistry of endings

Until I see headlights / Reflecting on gravestones

~pp

< Listen to this rant, and more, on the podcast here or on iTunes TSF14: Hunger Never Ends >

Let me stress the decision to abandon a watch was made years ago.  Recently, I had a revelation; I, again, need a watch.

Learn the way of the Watch

Years ago, I simply had a cell phone; now, I have a BlackBerry.  Years ago, I had a computer with email and a by-request internet connection; now, I have constant internet connectivity plus instant messenger.  We have evolved to that connect-me-to-everyone-right-now stuff and instead of living in the moment, we are living outside the moment.  I have become so busy responding to the immediate requests of others immediately, that I completely ignore the people I’m with and the actual conversation we’re having.  To put it bluntly, I’ve become an anxious, rude, half-listener with attention deficit tendencies.

How many of you can say the same?  Do you hang out with one group of people, but spend all of your time with them communicating with other people?  Catch up with friends at the bar, and you’re all standing around texting friends who aren’t with you?  Sitting in your living room with your family, but completely distracted from your kids conversation because you’re too busy updating your Facebook status?

Part of the problem is, when I go to check the time, I am sucked in to my email, my voicemails, my alerts, messages, tweets and the like.  And, damn the moment and what I may be doing, I must reply immediately. I’m guilty if I don’t respond and I’m guilty if I do.  Stress Recipe 101.

Hence, the watch and my new commitment to bringing myself back into the moment.  I’m hoping it tell me what time it is – literally and figuratively. Looking at my wrist will unplug me from the device-dependant ridiculousness that has been so overwhelmingly distracting.  Maybe you should consider conquering your time differently, too.

~pp

Stagetime matters big time.

A long time ago, when Madonna didn’t speak with a British accent and the US was actually cleaning up oil spilled from that Exxon DUI in Alaska, I climbed onstage in front of a bar full of strangers and attempted to make them laugh. I succeeded, and those few minutes in a red-velvet-decorated strip mall comedy club changed my life. I could write a joke.

Before and since that night, I have enjoyed and analyzed comedy. (Admittedly, I analyze everything I enjoy.)  How psyched was I, then, when the May 2010 issue of WIRED magazine featured comedian and Web Soup host Chris Hardwick’s article Crafting a Joke: The Arc of an Act? Completely, and I was completely impressed. Many, many comedy professionals and feigned comedic personalities have attempted to describe their joke processes, but Hardwick, in sharing his approach and the perspective of others, boils it down to the essentials.

Want people to laugh with you instead of just at you?  Read Hardwick’s advice, start thinking funny, right it down, and go.

~pp

Still have the desire to perform?  That is why they invented Vegas.  Or Branson.

Otherwise, move out of the spotlight, and let someone else have a chance.

Oh, sure, I acknowledge that you have been contributors to the world of music.  As singers, and songwriters, and musicians, and rockers you brought your sound to the masses and influenced pop culture and ingrained our brains with your riffs and lyrics.  Your music will live in the hearts and minds of many generations.  Thank you and bye-bye.

Maybe you think I sound harsh, but think about it?  Imagine if the previous generation of musical talent kept trying to keep performing in a big way at major awards shows, sporting events, on tour, and on television.Oh yeah – they did.  Remember the late days of Elvis or Frank?  Sad, sad, ugly, and sad.  They worked past-their-prime, trying to hold on to their young musical glory, and it didn’t work.  Hello – It ain’t working for you anymore, either.

For that matter, go away “Play that Funky Music, White Boy”, “Celebration”, “We are Family”, “Mustang Sally”, “Freebird”, “Brick House” and “Sweet Home Alabama”.  It is time to stop you and all of your cover band and wedding reception over-played power.

It is my contention that the past stands in the way of the future.  It is too convenient to dance to the music you’ve been hearing forever and it is regressive to sing along at concerts of artists who had their heyday before you were born.

Sure, it is fine to reminisce once-in-a-while; even I sing along to The Beatles. And, maybe you qualify as  quirky-cool because your ringtone is an obscure Marvin Gaye B-side.  But, why spend hundreds of dollars to go to concerts performed by people who need to get themselves jacked up on anti-inflammatories just to take the stage?  And, why are those same people still making crazy money to sing songs about their sexy youth, when “sexy” and “youth” have been replaced with “wrinkled” and “old”?  If we fill our lives with only the songs we know, we are forced to look backwards and are missing the view ahead.

I know, I know – the past is comfortable.  It feels more real because you’ve already experienced it.  It is as grounding and familiar as those ratty sweatpants you refuse to throw away.  It is like making out with an old boyfriend or girlfriend again.  You know just what to do to make them feel good.  Play “American Pie” and everyone relaxes.

You are trampling the road more traveled, and it is making you soft.

What happened to established artists gracefully aging and mentoring the next generation’s creativity, instead of competing with it?  Why do we continue to demand the stuff we know, instead of striving to experience something new?  We should cry out for the future, instead of sentimentally weeping for the past.

It is time to put down your high-school facebook, I mean, yearbook and move forward. Rock stars prefer to burn out than fade away; it is time for the faded old burn-outs to go away.

Let’s advance things, shall we? Listen to a new song, a new band, or a new artist, today.  Dance to something you’ve never heard before, tonight.  Let’s change the demand for music, right now, and we’ll change the future of music, for the better.

~pp

< Be now in the now.  Listen to TSF9: We’re Next, We’re Now The Slacker Factor Podcast here, or on iTunes. >